


Black Orchids

by AceKyun



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, it's literally angst because im cruel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 10:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23849614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceKyun/pseuds/AceKyun
Summary: Otoya starts coughing up flowers for Ranmaru. Can he survive the love sickness, or will the flowers take his heart instead?
Relationships: Ichinose Tokiya/Ittoki Otoya (One Sided), Ittoki Otoya/Kurosaki Ranmaru (One Sided), Kotobuki Reiji/Kurosaki Ranmaru
Kudos: 16





	Black Orchids

It wasn’t my intention to just up and run away, but what else could I do when my stomach became tied in knots. Hacking up over the sink, the outcome wasn’t what I expected to see. Several ink black petals were lying at the base. A few more coughs and petals came tumbling out my mouth before I felt my throat was clear, checking the mirror I look slightly pale but there didn’t seem to be any traces of blood at the edge of my mouth, so I should be okay. I hope. I grabbed a paper towel scooping up the petals and dropping them in the bin, twisting the tap and letting the water rinse off my hands and clean out the rest of the sink. Drying off, I left the room walking back down the hall to the practice room, as I wonder what just happened a moment ago. All Ranmaru had done was, move my fingers to the right bass fret and I had suddenly become nauseated. What else could I do but up and leave? 

The door must have closed on its own when I ran out, but it doesn’t matter. Pushing down on the handle and pressing against the door, I see the bassist sitting where he was before I left, strumming at the strings on his beloved instrument. He took a second to look up at me, his own mismatched eyes mixed with concern.

“You alright? You just ran off outta nowhere…” He let his hands rest on the bass. The concern in his voice, for whatever reason, filled me with delight. I began walking back over to my own guitar, leaning on the chair, and hanging the strap over my neck again. 

“Yeah, I’m alright, nothing to worry about!” I sang a cheerful lie and cleared my throat. Ranmaru wasn’t falling for it, scrunching his eyes in disbelief. “I just felt a little bit sick was all.”

“Ya look pale… Maybe we should stop here for today, you should go get some rest if you’re sick, there’s no point in playin’ otherwise,” It was a statement more than a suggestion. His words were said only in my best interest, and yet it stung to hear we couldn’t play together more. Ranmaru was already on his feet, returning the bass to its case before I could even retaliate. I bit my lip and watched silently for a moment, fingers pressing against the fret slightly stronger. The older man sighed lightly.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you back to your dorm, can’t let ya faint or anythin’,” he sat the case on the chair and walked over, tugging on the guitar neck and holding my case open. A sigh slipped as I submit to the bassist’s request, taking the guitar off and sliding it back into its case. I slipped the case onto my back, copying Ranmaru as he walked to the door, yet I still found myself frozen in place, unable to move. I wanted to spend more time together, playing together and chatting about everything and nothing. It was hard to find time when you barely had work together. 

“Oi, you coming?” He looked back over his shoulders, waiting for me to move. The light from the window somehow framed his face perfectly, making him even more wonderful than usual. Suddenly the feeling came back, the tightness in my throat, the knots in my stomach, that’s probably my motivation for running out the room. He chuckled and the feeling got worse. It was hard to keep it down, but my dorm wasn’t too far. The walk was mainly silent, it was awkward considering the fact we usually can’t stop talking, yet now I could barely utter a word. I could feel the anxious stare the bassist gave; I preferred the kind warmth I usually felt. I usually wasn’t like this, but I don’t understand why myself.

“Are ya sure you’re alright?” We got to my room and I gave a nod. “You don’t need to shoulder stuff on your own, ya know.” 

“I’m sure Ranmaru! Thanks, I’ll remember it,” I gave him one of my signature grins to try ease his nerves. He looked at me for a moment with those worried eyes, before it melted away into the smile a love to see on him.

“Yeah, you’ll be fine with Tokiya and Reiji in there. Or at least Tokiya,” his chuckle made me laugh lightly myself. However, it was hard when trying not to cough your lungs out. “Oh, and tell Reiji, I’ll go on his stupid thing,”

“Alright, I’ll tell him and thank you, Ranmaru!” I nodded as he brought his hand up to my head and ruffled my crimson hair out of place, giving me a smirk and walking off down the hall to his own room. And the second he was gone, I burst into the dorm and rushed to the bathroom, ignoring the ‘welcome back’ from the desk. I couldn’t help but cough out another mountain of inky petals. My throat began to hurt and my stomach churned more, as the petals gushed into the sink. When the last one fell, I took a moment to try breath before I collected them and dropped them in with the rest of the rubbish. I stared back into the sink repeating the process from before washing my hands to get rid of the remaining petals.

“Otoya…?” The voice belonged to Tokiya. “Are you alright?” I turned around to face the blue haired man. His book page marked between his fingers as he tilted his head in concern, leaning against the door frame. Through the reflection I could see blue eyes piercing through my head. I didn’t look at him. If I stayed quiet, I could hope he would drop this, at least for right now. 

“I-I’m alright, Tokiya!” I turned on my heel and walked right past him, sliding the case off my back and placing it in its special place I kept beside the bunks. I could still feel Tokiya’s gaze on me, it was softer than a moment ago, more anxious now. I grabbed the script sitting on my bed and began to flick through it hoping the blue eyes would fall off me. They did, but only for a moment as he walked over to me, picking off the remain of a petal off the corner of my mouth.

“Otoya, are these flowers?” I stayed still. I didn’t really want to tell Tokiya… Maybe he would have an answer if I asked him though. He’s smart after all. Tokiya stood up dropping the petal into the bin besides his desk, placing his bookmark into his book settling it on top. I think there were sunflowers in there too but I couldn’t tell. The worry in his eyes was still there, pinned to my own. Tokiya stood at the desk waiting, he was patient, he wouldn’t force me to answer either. 

“What happens when you cough up flowers, Tokiya?” I decided to ask, slumping down to sit on the bed. The anxiety in the others eyes never left but his expression became softer than before. He rested himself on the desk chair, and I waited for his response.

“Are you referring to the hanahaki disease?” I tilt my head. He sighed. “Hanahaki disease, also nicknamed as love sickness or floral death, it’s a sickness that can occurred when you’ve fallen in love and the love is unrequited,” I understood his words, but what I couldn’t figure out was who I had fallen for. The room fell silent, Tokiya waiting patiently for me to slip out of my thoughts. He bit his lip, a small glimpse of hope in his eyes, that’s lasted only a moment. 

“…Is it Kurosaki-senpai…?” At the name of the rocker my throat got taut again and with cough two black petals fell onto my hand. At some point, the vocalist had moved from the desk to the space beside me, patting my back trying to comfort me. I gave him a soft smile gripping onto the petals.

“Why would you suggest him?” gripping the petals in my hand, biting my lip. I didn’t know why he guessed Ranmaru but maybe it made sense. It felt warm to be around the bassist lately, and it would easily explain the knots in his stomach and the weight on his chest when he was close. Maybe it was Ranmaru and I didn’t even notice when I fell. A few more petals dropped into my hand, one or two floating to the floor. Even just thinking of him hurt, apparently.

“The petals are orchids, aren’t they? Kurosaki-senpai’s name has the same meaning does it not?” That made sense as to why Tokiya could make a good assumption, he was the smartest after all. He got up to bring over the waste basket, picking up the fallen petals and dropping them in, before handing it over to me scrapping the crushed petals off my hand. I definitely saw some sunflower’s in there, I was about to ask why when a crash of the open door rung out through the room.

“I’m back!” with the number of bags in Rei-chan’s hands it was a miracle he could open the door. He closed the door and walked into the centre of the room placing the bags on the coffee table. His usual happy expression suddenly being swapped with confusion when he noticed the basket. He wandered over and peaked into the basket, eyes widening. 

“Is this hanahaki again!?” voice filled with shock and I tilt my head. What did he mean ‘again’? Tokiya was still as a statue, but I guess his blue eyes would never stop being filled with nervousness. I ended up giving Rei-chan a nod, anyway. Now he has an answer I dread his next question, one that was sure to come.

“Who is it, Otoyan?” my head shook looking away from my roommates. I didn’t want to answer, Rei-chan could probably find out if he wanted to anyway. Although, a part of me didn’t want him to know.

“Kotobuki-san, we should let him rest for a while,” I shot Tokiya a smile, saving me from the frightful question. Rei-chan laughed agreeing with Tokiya and throwing an arm over his shoulder, then dragging him away to help with the bags on the table. After everything has been put away, Rei-chan gave offered us each a bento made specially by him for us, I couldn’t help but stand up from the bed and placing myself next to Tokiya on the couch as Rei-chan handed us a box each. 

“Oh, Rei-chan, Ranmaru asked me to tell you he’ll go to your thing.” Rei-chan grinned brightly and as much as I wanted to hear his response, the thought of the silver haired man allowed more petals to get lodged in my throat, I took a bite of my food to try press them down.

I awoke tired the next morning, drained of all energy. I had found myself up through the night hacking up more petals, finding myself thinking of the bassist a lot more than usual. Maybe because I realised my feelings? Either way, it was a bad thing. Tokiya seemed to be running low on energy too, I feel bad that I ended up keeping him up. He said it’s alright because he’s been up late lately, but he wouldn’t tell me why. Rei-chan seemed full of energy, it’s amazing he could sleep through it all. Then again Tokiya pointed out how energised I seemed too, that was a mystery to myself as well. He said it’s just my normal nature. 

I only had some dance and vocal practices today with Syo and Ren, they tend to fly by when you get used to them, doesn’t make them any less hard though. By the end of them all I was puffed out especially considering my lack of sleep. It was good to be distracted though, I didn’t need to think of the man who now happened to be standing at the end of the corridor. I hoped he would just wave and walk by, just seeing him was enough the stir the petals in my chest, but Ranmaru walked right up to me. I couldn’t decide whether to be happy or anxious to see him up close. Maybe both? Definitely both.

“Oi, you feeling any better today?” I was snapped out of my thoughts by his deep voice. Had it always sounded so nice? I could feel my face go red at his very presence. I just hoped he wouldn’t care enough to notice, and yet I wanted him to care. He was leaning against the wall beside me, his eyes locked to mine and I couldn’t bring myself to look away. No matter how much it hurt. 

“Y-yeah, I’m feeling a lot better today, thank you!” the nausea bubbled up and it was hard to push down the petals, but I gave him a smile and I got one in return. His smile was amazing, just like the rest of him. He pressed up from against the wall standing right in front of me now. He was so close. Not good, but I had no escape.

“You wanna hang out tomorrow morning?” I gave a nod and brightened my smile, and his smile stayed too. “We gotta make up for yesterday, still gotta help you get that chord right,” He dropped a hand on my head to ruffle up my hair, just as he did yesterday. And just like yesterday that’s the moment I couldn’t take it anymore, and my face felt like it was burning. The petals gathered in my throat threatening to spill out any moment, I had to run. As much as I wanted to stay, it began to hurt too much. 

“Yeah, that sounds great, but I have to go now, see ya, Ranmaru-senpai!” I heard him call out to me as I ran, but my legs wouldn’t stop. The words had tumbled out just like the petals did the second I reached the dorm again. The slam of the door brought Tokiya out of his thoughts, rushing over to me and the petals continued to spill out of my lungs. How does this disease work anyway didn’t I just catch it yesterday? After the last one fell Tokiya guided me over to the couch, blue eyes overdosed with the same worry as before. When I was settled down, he walked back to the door, starting to pick up the mess. 

“Tokiya, what else is this disease?” He paused for a moment to look at me again.

“What do you mean?” 

“Is there a cure? How long does it last?” I hesitated a moment remembering one of the names Tokiya had called it yesterday, ‘Floral Death’. “…Can it kill you?” Tokiya rose throwing away the collected flowers, avoiding my gaze completely as he did this chore. After the entry way was cleared up, he sat down beside me silent for a moment, before finally opening his mouth.

“To answer all your questions, the disease does have a cure, you have to confess and have your feelings returned, if not the disease continues. It doesn’t go away on its own, there’s a medicine for it, but otherwise it doesn’t go away…” he bit his lip. “Yes… if you leave it for too long untreated, it could lead to your demise…” All of my questions were answered, even if the last one was something I didn’t want to hear, but if there was a cure then there was no reason not to take it. 

“Then if there’s a way to get rid of it, I should use it right?” The blue haired man still looked away, staring out the window away from me. He was still on edge about all this, I suppose it is a depressing tale, a punishment for falling in love. 

“Otoya, the cure is falling out of love, the medicine removes all traces of your feelings to the one you love.” He finally turned to me a sad smile resting on his face. “Not just romantic attachments, all the feelings you’ve ever felt for that person will completely disappear, to the point it can feel like you’ve never even met. That’s why its faulty,” It took a moment to process all the information. My options were to confess to Ranmaru and hope not to be rejected, suffer until the flowers suffocate me, or forget everything I had ever felt for the bassist completely. All of them seemed horrible.

“Well, I can take the chance of confessing right? I mean, we can’t date because of work but I just need to have him say he likes me too right…?” My fingers fidgeted around in my lap it was my turn to stare out the window ignoring the man beside me. Tokiya sighed, and placed his hand on my arm, giving me a genuine smile, despite some sort of pain loitering in his eyes. 

“It’s always worth a shot, I suppose, good luck.” With that he stood up, sauntered back to the desk, picking up the book again. I stood up and marched over to the door, deciding on a plan. I should try tell him as soon as possible, it was worth the risk and after all, being rejected sounded a lot better than forgetting all my feelings for him. I was almost out the door before I turned back for a moment.

“Hey, Tokiya…” I called looking over at the reading vocalist. He turned around in his chair, looking up at me after finishing the part of his book.

“Yes, what is it Otoya?” Somehow it sounded like his voice had become a little shaky, he’d seemed more secretive these days. But I guess that’s nothing new with Tokiya. 

“How do you know so much about Hanahaki anyway?” Tokiya’s whole body seemed to tense up at the question. The room feel deadly silent for what felt forever. A sigh escaped the other, but his lips were sealed tight. He looked away from me, blue eyes refusing to meet my own and spun his chair back to his desk. “… Did you read about it in a book? …or have you ever had it?”

“…Yes,” His voice wavered more. “I’ve had it…” The air became heavy and Tokiya’s focus was only on his book. I wasn’t going to ask, so I muttered a goodbye and slid out of the room. I didn’t hear a response.

I ended up getting distracted yesterday, I couldn’t find Ranmaru around, so I spent the time with Syo and Natsuki, watching a movie. I didn’t want to wait in my dorm after earlier either. I tried to check Ranmaru’s dorm after to be met with Masato explaining he wasn’t here, but he told me he’d make sure to tell him I was looking for him when he returned. But it seems it must have been late when he returned because he never showed up. Rei-chan seemed to be missing too, so maybe it was a Quartet Night meeting, yet I did happen to see Ai come in to grab something, during the movie… I was meant to meet with him today anyway and the thought alone made my face flush a bit and allowed the flowers to jump around inside.

The tension had gone from yesterday. When I got back Tokiya welcomed me with a smile like he always does, although he seemed more tired and pale. He still does even now... Rei-chan had happened to run off a bit earlier than usually this morning. According to Tokiya he returned late last night after I went to sleep, Tokiya saw him return just before he put his book down. He had still made us his special breakfast like he always does, yet he ran off instead of joining us. Tokiya decided to eat quicker today, apparently it was because he had a shoot quite early and Ren had offered to drive him. Yet maybe that was a lie… He might still be anxious about yesterday. Yet he still helped me clean up the petals I’d coughed up last night, and this morning too. 

I had plans of my own anyway, I had a recording in the afternoon but I could spend the morning with Ranmaru, for now. With a knock at the door Ren showed up to drag Tokiya to work. My roommate wished me a good morning with a soft smile as he left for the shoot. It wasn’t much later I decided to text Ranmaru asking when to meet him, the reply came fast along with a few petals. He suggested to meet now in the usual practice room, and with that I grabbed my guitar, pulling the case over my back. A few petals choked out before I left, but even if they hung around, there was a chance they would stop soon. At least I hoped. 

Walking down the hall to the room, I couldn’t help but feel the fear race through my mind, thinking of the ways this could go horrible. What if I said something wrong? What if the flowers started spilling out uncontrollably? … What if Ranmaru was lip locked with Rei-chan at the end of the hall… the brunet had his arms thrown around the others neck, while Ranmaru held him with arms snaked around his waist. Meanwhile, I was frozen solid, my feet felt as if they were stuck like glue. The flowers began to rise right up, it was getting harder to breathe. I somehow found the strength in my feet to drag myself away from the scene before me, running to the closest bathroom, letting the petals gush out. Two of which came out as whole flowers, they were the hardest to force out. In that moment, I could only feel the despair of what I just saw. Knowing for sure my feelings would never be reciprocated. I didn’t even bother to pick up the inky mess with a paper towel this time, just picking them all up and dropping them into the waste. I rinsed off my hands and spent some time trying to get my breath back, my throat was still tense but what could I do other than let it be. I should just go back to my dorm, I’ll text Ranmaru and tell him I don’t feel well, it would be a perfect lie considering he’s believed it for the past few days. It’s not exactly a lie either, I am love sick, and its all his damn fault. Did Tokiya have to go through all of this?

I finally recovered and stood back out of the room, letting out a sigh. I turned around to head back to the room, hoping nothing more than the flowers to ease down for a while. I couldn’t do anything other than that in my situation. The last thing I needed was to see the bassist, but of course life wouldn’t allow me that pleasure. I wanted to run again. I wanted to run away, as he got even closer, yet I couldn’t move at all. All I could seem to do is watch him get closer, and feel the heat rise in my face, I was surprised I hadn’t melted away when he stood right before me. He looked like he was about to ask something but paused and put on a concern gaze.

“Otoya, are you alright? You look like you’ve got a fever,” He bought his hand up to my forehead, the back of his hand felt warm. He leaned down allowing his mismatched eyes join with my own. The time kept ticking on and the throbbing in my heart started to grow even stronger, every second his hand lingered, and every moment our eyes stayed linked, it began to sting even worse. There were tears gathering, threatening to spill out my eyes as I tried to blink them away, forcing my best smile on my face. But it seemed as if time was frozen. 

“Damn, you look like shit… You should really stay in bed for a few days, wait until your fever blows over,” He pulled his hand away but still stared at me with those anxious eyes. I wanted it to stop. I wanted him to stop. I wanted the flowers to stop. But none of it would. “We can have a jam session when you’re feeling better, alright,”

He stood patiently waiting for an answer for a moment, but I couldn’t give him one, I didn’t know what so say now. Despite burning all over, my feet felt frozen to the floor, I couldn’t move at all, but I needed to get out. The flowers creeping up through my throat weren’t much of a help, I doubt I could run without leaving a trail behind me. I could hear Ranmaru’s voice call out my name, but every word he said made everything a whole lot worse. Although it wasn’t as bad as when I felt my feet finally lift off the ground, and yet it was my whole body being picked up. Ranmaru was carrying me. His touch, his scent, his voice. It was all too clear. This was probably the worst way the situation could go, I could barely breathe with the flowers gathering in my lungs, and yet I couldn’t do anything than try force them down until I was placed down on my bed. It was a trip I couldn’t remember, but I was too busy panicking to notice. 

“Please leave...” I managed to choke out, through the petals collecting in my mouth now. He made a sound of dejection, but he gave me a nod.

“Text me if you need anything, get better soon,” I turn away and when I hear the door close, all the flowers stuck in my throat rushed out like a waterfall. I must have spent a good few minutes letting everything come out with rasping and choking. The tears finally spilled out, falling onto the inky mountain on the sheets, and honestly… 

I had no idea what to do now.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry not sorry i started this months ago and decided okay ill come back to this then i never did and then i gave up and yet now here i am again finishing smth bc i was told to so im now here to give out the gay pain which honestly its 4am and i can't handle this
> 
> god otoya darling im sorry for hurting you like this please forgive me!!!


End file.
